Socially Awkward

I just ran across a video about what behaviors constitute social awkwardness. Thought some of our folks might benefit:

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Oh well that explains why no one respects my 30 meter personal bubble

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Thanks for the how to. I will embrace and embody as many of these 11 excellent behaviors as possible.

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I thought it was supposed to be 30 millimeter. Explains a lot.

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Lol I read that as milliliter and was like 'I donā€™t even fit in that volume without warps in spacetime ā€™

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blah, blah, blah skip to 3:30 to get to the list
also there are only 10ā€“he skips 5 LOL
Good info, but he takes a very long road around what could be a much shorter story.

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I havenā€™t watched it and I already feel attacked!

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Iā€™ve actually watched a few videos on the Charisma on Command channel. They use real world examples of people demonstrating the qualities they are suggesting. This guyā€™s rules make eye contact but not too much is pretty vague.

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Itā€™s pretty common to have some or most of those characteristics because of having a distraction or focusing on solving a problem unrelated to the social interaction.

Another way to exhibit social awkwardness is to be insensitive to the appropriate level of interaction that another person is capable of under their circumstances.

Iā€™m pretty ambivalent about the value of labelling a person including myself based on a limited amount of interaction. Sometimes the remedy for a bad interaction is to just wait for another opportunity and/or to address the unrelated situation thatā€™s affecting my ability to interact.

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Something that drives me crazy is self help articles, books, videos or whatever other media that tells people how to pretend to be. They say how to make somone think youre listening. Or how to make others think youā€™re responsible. Or how to ā€œconveyā€ confidence, or whatever else. Itā€™s usually stuff like ā€œwalk into a room with a pretend walk that you practiced all night which makes it appear that you are on a mission, people respect that.ā€ Lol I think those things are just crutches. If youā€™ve never seen it online i bet youā€™ll start noticing it after i pointed it out. Itā€™s everywhere and goes beyond just ā€œself help.ā€ The reality is you should BE everything you can be. If you do that and end up walking into a room like a man on a mission thatā€™s probably because you are and donā€™t have time to think about practicing walking. The same can be said for all the other examples of this type of thinking.

I donā€™t mean to say this video did that btw.

Except the eye contact stuff he was taking about. I dont really understand the eye contact thing. And only notice it when people seem to be thinking too much about eye contact and therefore doing it too much or too little. :man_shrugging:

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Just just got a chance to watch this video, it is very interesting that the presenter slipped a time or two and said ā€œa threatā€ instead of weird. I can see how anyone of us who are weird, think outside the box, or have odd sense of humor, could be perceived as a threat and could make others feel unsafe, even when we did not intend to. Thank you for posting this.

Eye contact with new folks makes my brain short. :face_with_spiral_eyes:

Itā€™s easier for me to process information if I can have some time to develop that bond or not be forced to maintain it it.

And a lot of the things heā€™s recommending could potentially fall under masking for most nuerodivergent folks. Masking may help some nuerotypical folks feel a bit better but itā€™s detrimental to the physical and mental health of the nuerodivergent.

Iā€™m more team, let people be weird. Weird doesnā€™t always mean dangerous or a threat just different.

And the fact he calls certain things a threat so many times is odd to me. I wonder what thatā€™s about. :thinking:

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Itā€™s kind of a fine balance between being as weird as you want, and also being conscious of things you do that might make other people uncomfortable, even unintentionally.

Example: Being really talkative is one thing. Being really talkative to the point that someone feels like they canā€™t escape the conversation, or being really talkative with about a foot between your face and theirs, is another.

Make ICT is a social setting where people nerd out over their own and other peoplesā€™ projects, which creates some potential tension etiquette-wise. It feels like overkill to ask for some kind of training on this to be provided with membership, but I donā€™t know-- maybe people would appreciate it? Some kind of guidance on how to work peacefully alongside other people on noisy, messy, occasionally dangerous-so-focus-required projects?

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We had discussed onetime about the ā€˜leavemealoneā€™ hat. A hat you can wear such that people know not to bother you.

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I was thinking more along the lines of a quick cheat sheet on distractions in particular. Likeā€¦

  • Donā€™t verbally or physically interrupt someone doing something that could be dangerous if theyā€™re distracted.
  • Donā€™t play music or make other unusual noises (i.e. unexpected for the environment) when someoneā€™s working in the vicinity without checking with them to see if itā€™s distracting.
  • Donā€™t try to casually chat with someone wearing ear protection and/or headphones.
  • Donā€™t stand and watch someone work if youā€™re not engaging with them in any way. Being stared at is also a distraction.

But I realize that this could be read as ā€œDonā€™t try to communicate or collaborate with anyone on anything,ā€ which is absolutely not what Iā€™m trying to say, soā€¦ ĀÆ_(惄)_/ĀÆ

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I am usually working in the wood shop. I might make quick conversation with someone, such as hi how are you doing, when I or they first enter the room but that is about it unless they ask questions. With the equipment in the room, distractions arenā€™t needed, let alone trying to talk over the noise. I have asked and answered the question ā€œwhat are you making.ā€

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What are you making is the universal icebreaker at MakeICT.

I ask visitors what they like to make, I ask people what theyā€™ve madeā€¦ age, orientation, religion, operating system, politicsā€¦ its the binding agent. It even loosens my tongue, and I start incessantly babbling about operational amplifiers, springback bindings, or time space wormholes.

But I try not to bug a person with a tool in their hand. Soldering iron, lathe, keyboard, pottery wheel, dremel, axeā€¦

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This is true, even young me could recognize there was a balance.

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