It can be difficult to convey (and accurately perceive) tone over plaintext messages, but that screenshot has an emoji which helps remove the ambiguity.
As for my own message, it was a small (literally just 5 words) attempt to help de-escalate, but it’s also a genuine question. There may be other messages in that conversation that I haven’t seen. They may have had conversations and interactions beyond that conversation which are informing a perception that I cannot see. Maybe there’s a reason to believe the emoji is meant sarcastically. I don’t know (hence the question).
It doesn’t matter what their opinion is as, it doesn’t matter what your opinion is, it doesn’t matter what my opinion is, it doesn’t matter how many emojis follow the statement. It doesn’t matter how something was intended, it matter how it was perceived. If a comment was meant as a joke to someone that thought it was a joke, but overheard by someone else who was offended, then it is an offensive statement. I am pretty sure that is the standard for most, if not all workplaces. The person making the statement does not decide if it offensive, a bystander does not decide if it is offensive, I don’t decide if it is offensive to anyone else, if anyone feels it is offensive, then it is. This is the world we live in and the rules we must follow. I feel that the Code of Conduct echos this line of thinking.
Knowing your audience IS important. Therefore, I’m 60% certain it was a joke, as was perceived by its intended audience. (Anecdotally speaking on behalf of those I’ve talked to. Verdict is still out on the other 40%.)
To be clear, I have nothing for or against either party here, I took a very interesting class on Falconry from Sherry and was impressed with her knowledge and dedication to her chosen hobby. I met Mindy in the ceramics room and took some informal lessons from her and that is as far as I know her. While I do personally believe that the comment was meant as a joke, I still believe it does not matter what I think. It appears that Mindy was offended by the comment, and her statement was met with rebuke from the forum insinuating that she has no right to be offended. I do not believe the Code of Conduct Committee uses a “60%” rule to determine if something is offensive or not. I am sure I will not be believed, but if the situation and people involved were reversed, I would be making the same comments supporting Sherry’s right to be offended. Being offended is not up to a vote by the intended audience, I have witnessed “jokes” get people in trouble at my workplace on several occasions by someone that was not the “intended audience”. I am not looking to persecute anyone, and I personally feel that the statement was in jest and is not worth the time and effort it has caused here, but I would like to see respect for someone that appears to be offended and them not be judged based on the fact that a certain percentage of people do not feel that they have a “right” to be offended.
